So, for the last few weeks, I’ve been watching the Good Food Christmas channel, for some inspiration for what to cook at Christmas - and to be honest with you, i don’t think i’m any further forward than i was before i started this endeavour.

The problem is, there is that whilst there is only one real way in which to cook the old Turkey Lurkey but there is a multitude of ways in which to prepare it. Brine it, don’t brine it, cover with foil or don’t, fill it with stuffing or don’t, flavoured butter under the skin and a couple of clementines underneath to steam it, the list is endless.

And here’s the kicker - i don’t really like turkey. To me, it’s just a gym bunny chicken, with aspirations above it’s station.

Then there’s the vegetables - sprouts (uurrgghh) on their own or with bacon and chestnuts? Parsnips on their own or glazed in maple syrup? Carrots - roasted or boiled? Unpeeled or batons?

See what i mean?

And by the time you’ve spent two days preparing this meal (or if you are like Delia, a full 48 hours with only a power-nap at around 2 am and then 15 minutes “precisely” to open your Christmas presents (Top tip - the only way this can happen is if you’ve been a really naughty person and get next to nothing)), the last thing you really want to be doing is eating the damn thing.

So Santa, just bring me a large stottie filled with turkey, stuffing (has to be my Mam’s sage an onion stuffing, non of your M&S stuff), gravy and pigs in blankets. That, a large glass of fizz (or several) and a i’m a happy man.

Which i hope you all will be, whatever you end up doing and eating on Christmas Day.

On behalf of Dobson and Surrey Ltd, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year - we’ll see you on the other side!